Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
