I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
