dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
you will always have a special place in my vag
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Go christen that room with your naked body.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
