I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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