If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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