Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
