piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
