he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
