Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
