I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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