they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
