i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
