there's paper in my vomit.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
