I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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