I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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