i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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