i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
