Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
