if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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