"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
