Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
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