chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
