yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Come share oat with me in your robe
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
