there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
