naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
