I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
