Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Randomize
