She's JV to your varsity
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
