in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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