Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
