WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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