just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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