grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
where does the pee come out of this thing
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
