Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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