Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
