I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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