I wanna bring you to show and tell
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
