I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
