It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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