I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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