I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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