In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
