I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
