is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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