so let's talk penis.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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