I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
