i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I should be sponsored by Trojan
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
