Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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