The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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