I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
