I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
